Tribalism in America

It occurred to me, as I watched, that we are dividing ourselves as artificially in America. We are “red” or “blue,” conservative or liberal, Christian or non-Christian. These differences have always existed, but it seems very recent to me that we have become almost tribal about it. I don’t understand that.

I jokingly refer to my car as the “flaming liberal mobile.” I have bumper stickers with sayings like “I’m for the separation of church and hate” and “If you are not outraged, you have not been paying attention,” among others. I’ve purchased them from a number of websites. The thing that bothered me was the amount of fellow-American bashing that was also available, had I been inclined to buy those kinds of stickers—things like “Mommy, there’s a Republican under my bed,” and “My child is an honor student, but my president is an idiot.”

I’m a Unitarian Universalist. The first principle of my faith is that every person has inherent worth and dignity. That includes President Bush, regardless of how irresponsible and indifferent I may perceive him to be. I can be and have been very vocal in my criticism of him, but as a decent human being, I cannot call him names on the bumper of my car. Of course, my principles had better apply to Republicans, in general, considering the fact that I’m married to one.

Nothing is more destructive, to a nation or to our world, than the vilification and dehumanization of those with whom we disagree. “They vilified us first,” is not an adequate excuse.

My husband and I have maintained a healthy, happy marriage, despite the fact that we have routinely canceled out each other’s votes, because we love each other and that love is based heavily on mutual respect. It is also based on shared values. We both believe that the government has a responsibility to spend money wisely or not at all. We both believe that compassion should be paramount. We both believe in personal responsibility, but both acknowledge that some people need a hand up, not a hand-out. There was a time when I think most of us felt this way, and our leaders reflected our values. Democrats were known to err on the side of believing everyone to be a victim, and Republicans could be a little too tight with the purse strings, but the two sides could come to the table and, between them, come up with balanced ways to resolve the issues facing us.

As our leaders have abandoned this sense of shared values and willingness to cooperate, so have we. America was never meant to be a top-down form of government. It’s supposed to be a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Why are we following the examples of ill-behaved, self-serving people on both sides? Shouldn’t we be setting a better example and demanding higher standards?

It says something quite profound that my husband, however begrudgingly (and I mean VERY begrudgingly), voted for Kerry.

There is very little of which I am certain, but this much I know. Every human being is a human being. The best we can accomplish by dehumanizing people is the possibility of convincing them that we are right, they are not human, and therefore need not act human. This is true in the way we treat each other here at home and in the way our nation treats the citizens of other nations.

I have said before and will say again that I write romance novels because I am an optimist and I believe in happy endings. This past Thursday, many of us gave thanks that we are American. We gave thanks for the plenty in our lives and for the love that surrounds us daily. The thanks we gave probably differed very little from table to table, regardless of the color of people’s skin or the color of their politics. Christmas is coming. Whether you believe that Jesus was the messiah or not, can we at least agree that his message of love and compassion is worth remembering, celebrating, even practicing?