Embarrassing Moments
Thursday, I had been in the middle of reading a long and significant passage aloud from Catcher in the Rye when the bell rang. When class resumed Friday, I explained that I needed to go back to Thursday’s discussion because I’d been in the middle of a long, fat, hairy passage and run out of time, so we needed to look at it again. One charming young lady gave me this distasteful look and said, “Honestly, Mrs. Reed, if it’s long, fat, and hairy, I don’t really want to look at it.” (Same one who didn’t care how she did on the CSAP if it didn’t affect her.) What was I thinking? They were figures of speech! Ill-combined, perhaps, but innocently intended!
Today, well, we ran into one of the language problems that can occur when reading an older piece of literature. Can you believe that these kids don’t know what the verb “to goose” means? Holden talks about his belief that a character is “flitty” (another word they didn’t know but figured out from context) because he used to goose other boys in the hall. I then had to explain what this word meant. “It’s kind of a pinch on the butt, but, um…somewhat more invasive,” I said, trying to be delicate. “Kind of like a teabag?” a boy asked. Another language barrier, only this time I’m the one saying, “What’s that?” Okay, I may be behind on my slang, but I’m not stupid. About the time I say this, I realize what it must be. I figure goosing is close, but not quite that vulgar, so I say (oh God, did I really say this in front of 20+ teenagers?) “Well, you’re in the ballpark.”
I do NOT get paid enough.
Of course, this is nothing compared to a real faux pas in Forensics several years ago. We gave these silly little awards at the end of each year, and one of the traditional ones was “team clown.” During one period in time, we had a team member who had this fabulously dry wit that everyone on the team appreciated, so they created a special award for him called “team wit.” Of course, he won it. He was still on the team the next year, and the kids were all enthusiastically saying that they wanted to keep the award so he could win it again. Naturally, I thought the freshmen would be confused about why we might have a “team clown” and a “team wit” award. Seeking to clarify, I started to explain, but somehow, when I opened my mouth, the first two letters of "clown" became all tangled up with the last two letters of “wit.” Thank God there were only five minutes left of class. There is simply no way to recover from a gaff like that! It took three years (time for that freshman class to graduate) before I lived it down.
UPDATE
Well, good thing I have Mel to keep me straight. Good God! If I'd had any idea what "teabagging" was I would have asked that student if he was completely out of his mind! Holden describing a kid who would "teabag" other kids wallking down the hall at school???? Okay, now I am completely flummoxed. I so do not get paid enough. (If you don't know what it is, you'll have to google it, like I did. This is a PG blog.)
BWHA-hahahahaha! Paula, I'm laughing my head off here. Surely you find
this funny too, I love these kinds of faux pas! I'm having to stop
laughing to type this and keep breaking up again. I am in the ballpark of
having a long, fat, hairy laughfest.
I remember one time when working in a plant, the line went down. I went to
the bathroom and when I came back, I asked a technician, if he'd "gotten it
up yet".......As soon as it came out of my mouth, I realized what I'd said.
Oh my God, Paula!! Those are priceless!! You made my day.
I had a friend who was a TA in grad school and his class was freaking out
about a pop quiz he was giving. Trying to soften the blow somewhat, he
assured them that "It's just a little quizzie!"
I didnt know what Teabaggin was, until I was watching a movie....then this
character didnt know what it was and then it was explained and I realized
it was oral sex *blinks*....dude...I gotta stop watching movies...Lol.
I don't think my students meant it the same way. I assumed that it meant
grabbing someone's crotch, since goosing is definitely not oral sex and it
wouldn't fit the context. If it means what you say, the only way they were
in the ballpark is if they were coming out of left field. Now I have to go
do a google search (could be scary).
It's absolutely possible, but he was the sort of person you could imagine
that story happening to.
It sounds like you were having a "Oo, oo, pull my finger kind of day"
ha, ha, snicker, snort, gufaw, he he!
JWL
*Grinning* Mel did some slang research according to the people around me
who speak slang fluenlty....according to them, teabaggin IS oral sex.
Kinda...gotta use your imagination...in and out...in and out...in the
cup...out the cup...in the...*blinks* Oh god im disgusted again ><
lmao.